Awkward
by xXxStompingOnRosesxXx
Summary: Sonny Munroe has a lot of crap in her life: her party freak mother, the string of F's in Algebra, and being in love with a guy who she thinks will only see her as his best friend. Throw in two new people into her dysfunctional life and you've got Channy.
1. Fridays

"I think loving someone, despite what people think, is _fearless_." – Taylor Swift

* * *

><p><em><strong>Awkward<strong>_

For most teenagers, a Friday night was usually simple. Some go on dates, some log on to the internet, some hook up…

But not me.

A Friday night would usually consist of: a.) Mom's new party, b.) spending the night with my best bud, Chad, and c.) studying for some stupid Algebra test.

The catch?

Mom's parties are held in MY house (so it'll be full of strange adults that I do not, nor want to, know), Algebra just sucks in general, and, oh yeah, I'm in love with Chad.

-Cue audience gasping here-

Yes, yes, I'm one of _those_ people, And by "those", I mean people who can't seem to separate feelings from friendship. Who would've thought that a girl would fall in love with her boy best friend?

To tell you the truth, everyone.

They warned me that, and I quote, "A boy and a girl can't be best friends without one falling for the other."

But _nooo_, I didn't listen! I just _had_to freakin' fall in love! With my best friend, for God's sake!

"Hey, Sonny, dear. I'm just going to Mrs. Goldstein's house, okay?" my Mom informed me. It was like this every week. My Mom's sweet and extremely nice. No, really. But… the parties, the alcohol, especially booze, just makes her…

Weird. And ditzy.

Also, it gives her bad breath.

"Sure, Mom. See you at midnight!" I called back. Nah, I'm just kidding. She'll be back _way_after midnight.

My phone rang after Mom left.

_I__'__ll__ take __her __out __and __drop __her __off_

_On__ the__ outskirts__ of__ our__ town_

_I__'__ll __leave__ a__ trail __of __roses__ that__'__ll __lead __back __home __(so __come __back __home)_

_She__'__ll__ pick __a__ fight__ for__ no__ good__ reason_

_She__ knows__ I__'__ll __never __leave_

_I__ love__ her__ half__ to __death,_

_But __she__'__s __killing __me__-_

I didn't even look at the Caller ID. "Chad?"

"You know it!" Chad is my best friend. He always has been. Ever since the second grade, I noticed that I had an, ahem… _specia l__liking_ for Chad. It was just a small crush. Microscopic, really.

But over time, it grew and grew and grew.

And before I knew it, it turned into, you know, love.

The thought made me want to smile and gag at the same time.

"What do you need, Cooper?"

"The usual."

"The usual" was mostly watching _Grown __Ups_ or _Get__ Smart_ at his house with the boys and shoving whatever edible thing we can find into our mouths.

"Of course you do." I smiled.

"So you're coming over?"

"In five minutes, cheesehead." I hung up and threw my phone on the bed.

I ran to my closet and threw on a blue _Teen__ Gladiators _shirt and some sweatpants. I dropped the clothes I wore earlier into the box my Mom put in my room for dirty laundry.

I don't really have girl friends…at all. I'm "one of the boys."

The upside: I know everything about him and I just saved myself years of Facebook stalking.

The downside: I'll probably only be one of Chad's boys, but never his girlfriend.

I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail and then shoved my cow-print iPhone into my pocket.

I grabbed my car keys (my good ol' estranged father thought he could slither his way into my life by buying me a Porsche) and ran to my cars. I actually have two cars. One Porsche and one beat-down pickup from the 1980's. I usually use my pickup because the Porsche was too flashy for my taste.

When I drive up to Chad's massive driveway, I saw that the others were already there. Their crappy cars were already parked by Chad's many motorcycles.

I walk into his house, greet Mrs. Cooper – who surprisingly likes me for some reason – and then burst into Chad's room.

Chad, Nico, and Skylar were eating popcorn while waiting for _From__ Paris__ With __Love _on HBO while Grady, Ferguson and James were playing a game on Chad's Wii (yes, Chad has two TVs in his room.) I coughed loudly to get their attention.

When they saw that it was only me, they just said, "Hey," in unison and then continued whatever they were doing.

I rolled my eyes and then sat down next to Chad. I, no matter how disgustingly cheesy it sounds, felt some butterflies flutter in my stomach.

I grabbed the remote, much to the displeasure of, well, everyone. I changed it to _How __I__ Met __Your __Mother._

"What'd you do that for?" Chad whined.

"We've watched _From __Paris__ With __Love _three times this week. It's getting boring."

"Blame HBO!"

I playfully punch him on the arm. But that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. Hurt _him_, I mean.

He rubbed his arm and then scolded playfully, "You, young lady, punch way too hard for a girl."

I scoffed. "Please. I'm barely a lady."

"True. But you still punch too hard for a…female."

I was about to call him sexist (and kinda wanted to call him sexy too) but James decided to butt in.

"But," he piped in, "Sonny's barely a female!"

The guys laughed a little, nodding in agreement.

"And what the fuck does that mean, Conroy?" I asked, kinda offended.

"Well, _Alison_," I cringed when I heard my full name come into the conversation. "You wear sweats everywhere, you don't have any skirts, or any accessories, you play video games better than us, you wear dark colors and not pink or purple or any other girl color, and you hang out with boys all the time," he ranted.

"But, even though those are true, I was born female and I'm pretty sure I have female genitalia and not a penis."

James rolled his eyes, giving up. They know that I'm stubborn (and always right), so they don't bother arguing.

"Look, let's just all shut up and watch TV, okay?" Nico said.

We mumbled a, "Fine," then let it go.

After watching Barney flirt and bang a bimbo, I found myself getting sleepy.

I yawned a little, milking the situation by snuggling into Chad. I felt him tense a little by the sudden contact – since I barely even touch the boys because they're kinda sweaty and gross all the time – and then relax almost instantly. I pretended to snore quietly to make him think that I'm asleep.

"How 'bout we get back at Sonny for the 'Amanda thing' last Tuesday?" I heard Grady suggest. The "Amanda thing" was a prank I pulled on them that was, if I do say so myself, completely radical.

Seriously.

Two months ago, I persuaded them to join an online-dating website called _One__Special__Connection_, which was, if you haven't guessed, completely fake. I joined too, but as a girl named Amanda Katriana Samuels. She's completely perfect – well, to the boys, at least. She was five foot seven, with sunshine-blond hair, emerald eyes, and a twig-like figure… A photo shopped Barbie that was looking for her Ken that shared Skylar's love for warm orange juice, Nico's obsession with harmonicas, and James' unusual infatuation with Mango-flavored birthday cake. All I had to do was make an account, add them up, charm them with my vast knowledge of their lives, and BAM!

The best prank ever was in motion!

Sure, it took two months, but hey, I managed to meet up with them and break their little hears by sending a butt-ugly girl that was a messy eater.

The girl was me in a mask and fat suit, BTW.

I made them believe that I cheated on the with their very best friends. They fought, I watched, broke their hearts, and blah, blah, blah.

Back to their conversation, the guys seemed to be hesitant. They _know_ I could retaliate back with more pain inflicted on them. I mean, the last time they got back at me, I hired some dude to chase them around with pitchfork.

But, because they're as stupid as sporks (I mean, come on! What are they? Spoons or forks? WHY CAN'T THE COMPANY THAT MADE THEM MADE UP THEIR MINDS?), they agreed. They decided that they were going to throw water in my face. But Grady suggested that they do something meaner, so now, they wanted to throw _two_glasses of water in my face.

Amateurs.

So when they were going to spill water on me, I jumped up and shouted, "BOO!"

They got so freaked out that they spilled the water on _themselves._

"Yeah, that's what you get, dipwads!" I did my little victory dance, grabbed the remote and changed the channel. They glared at me while I just grinned. Serves them right.

"You're an evil, evil little troll," James hissed.

"You're a gay, gay little ladybug," I retorted.

"Buttchin."

"Gagface."

"Flat face."

"Flat ass!"

"Flat nose!"

"Flat forehead!"

"Flat… flat… Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

And before we knew it, Chad was in between us, Grady was holding me back and Nico was holding James. We've been known to…disagree a lot so my friends know when to restrain us from killing each other.

"Dude, it's not cool to punch girls," Chad told James. My hero… *girl sigh here*

"Psh. She's no girl!"

And that's when I lost it.

I was sitting on Chad's bed, holding a bad of frozen peas to my cheek.

I glanced at James, who was sitting next to me. He had a black eye and a cut lip. I only had a small bruise on my cheek and a cut on my arm.

Mrs. Cooper was looking at us, concerned. "Okay," she said, "what happened?"

James and I tried to explain at the same time. Chad was next to me, trying to put a band-aid on my arm – and once again, my hero – while Nico and the others were out to buy some cream for James' black eye.

"One at a time," Mrs. Cooper said calmly. "Sonny?"

"You see, I was asleep – well, pretending to be – when I heard that the boys were going to pull a prank on me. I scared them when they were about to throw water on me, though. But James got ad and called an evil troll. We kept calling each other names and were about to get into a fight but the guys stopped us. Chad told James that it wasn't cool to fight girls, and James said that I was no girl. Then, you know, I punched him, and… you know the rest," I explained.

Mrs. Cooper sighed. She pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered, "Sonny, James, go hug."

"What?" we exclaimed together. Ew, no! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

"Hug or else you two are banned from the Cooper household!"

I knew that she was bluffing – since she loves me and kinda considers me a daughter – but, to make Mrs. C. happy, James and I *cringe* hugged.

-And add gag here-

It was uncomfortable and it made everything seven hundred times more awkward.

Worst. Friday. Ever.


	2. Makeovers!

"_Do I really love him, or am I just addicted to the pain of wanting someone I can't have?" _

* * *

><p><em><strong>Awkward<strong>_

All in all, I think I have seven secrets in general... Here they are:

Live fish scare the crap out of me

I have a teddy bear named Mr. WinkleBob that my Aunt Bridgit gave me (I hate the thing, but I think Aunt B. would strangle me if I threw it out)

I have this… thing for frozen coffee

I subscribed last month to – ugh - _Seventeen_

I'm in love with Chad (but you already know that)

I'm keeping a diary with a front cover that is girly to most people

I secretly play guitar and sing

Why did I tell you my dumb secrets? Well, you _are _my diary, right? And girls write stupid secrets in their diaries, don't they?

Eh. Back to the _Seventeen_ thing. I subscribed to the wretched girlie-girl magazine because of, if it's not obvious enough, Chad Dylan Cooper.

In my opinion, he's just perfect. _Too _perfect.

And I don't mean _literally_ perfect, just - oh, God, this is so cheesy – perfect for _me._

_And me only._

That's right, pretty ladies, Chad is _mine._

Well, he's going to be, at least…

But still, touch my Chad and I'll make you blind. Literally. I've done it before.

"Sonny!" I heard my Mom call. "Your magazine is here!"

"Thanks Mom! Can you bring it up here, please?" I called back.

"Nope. Now come down here! I have someone you should meet!"

Oh gosh, no. Not another one of her _Alcoholic __Control __Center_ buddies. The last one took our refrigerator.

I rolled my eyes and jumped out of bed. When I was going down the stairs, I saw two tall figures beside Mom. Their backs were facing me, but I could see that they were both blonde.

The first one was tall and I could tell that he was a guy. He was in a polo shirt and tan pants. It looked almost like a golfing outfit. I think he was the same age as my Mom because of his slightly graying hair.

The second figure was shorter than the man, but she was still tall. In fact, she was a good 3 or 4 inches taller than my Mom. She was wearing a white graphic shirt, neon pink pants and a matching neon pink jean jacket. My guess is that she was either my age, or a woman in her mid-40's that forgot that it wasn't the 1980's anymore.

I cleared my throat and they turned to me.

Whoa.

They were both flippin' gorgeous!

They both smiled warmly at me. I smiled awkwardly back and looked at Mom expectantly.

"Honey," she said, "meet Tom and Tawni Hart."

I looked at them for moment before cautiously greeting, "Hi."

Tom held out his hand. I shook his hand like a pretty little proper lady like my Mom wanted me to be. "Nice to meet you, Allison."

"Call me Sonny." I hate the name Alison, mostly because it was _my _name. It being the name on my birth certificate made me want to puke. But no offense to any other Allisons out there, though.

Tawni then held out her hand and I shook it, too. Her many, many bangles _clank_ed as her arm went up and down. "Tawni Hart," she introduced herself. "Nice to meet you, Sonny."

"You too, Tawni."

I have to say, I expected them to be _way_ more snobby…

"Uh, Daddy, can I borrow some hand sanitizer?" Tawni asked, wiping her hand on her shirt.

"Oh, whoop-dee-doo, make way. Another diva is coming, I say," I mumbled to myself. That's what my friends and I say whenever one of the guys date a diva. But it still applies to this situation. Tawni heard me, though.

She narrowed her eyes at me and I smirked.

Mom cleared her throat and wrapped her arm around Tom's.

I have a bad feeling about this…

"Sonny, do you remember your father's wedding?"

Wedding? Why are we talking about weddings?

Unless… Whoa, whoa, wait.

No. Please don't tell me that you're getting married, Mom.

"Which one?"

"Well, how many are there?"

"Uh, four or five, I think…"

My father, Stephen, left when I was nine. He's filthy rich, a novelist, but – sorry Dad – kinda stupid. He let those whores take more than half his money. Money that should be in my bank account when he oh-so-accidentally dies… And, no, I don't mean that I'm going to, you know, murder my father, but when his wife finds out about his mistress_es,_ well…

"Well, instead of us going to his weddings- "

"But, Mom, you never go to his weddings…"

"That's because he's a scumbag, Darling. Anyways, instead of _you _going to his overpriced weddings- "

Holy crud, NO!

Mom, I swear to God Almighty that if you marry that stranger, I will POUND HIS FACE IN!

"Your Dad will be coming to my wedding. I'm marrying Tom. Welcome the new members of the family!" She smiled, probably expecting me to jump around and sing show tunes like this is a musical.

But, really, I just wanted to chew someone's foot off.

"Don't worry, Sonny. You're going to have more sisters! Taryn and Zora couldn't make it, but I bet they'll love to meet you!" Tom exclaimed.

Oh great. _More__ people._

I plastered a fake little smile on my face and said sweetly, "Oh, wow! That's great! Congrats!"

Tom and Connie – I'm too mad at her to call her Mom right now – smiled warmly at each other and kissed. Full on the lips. With tongue.

It almost made me gag. I glanced at Tawni, and she had the same expression I most likely had on my face: Disgusted.

She smiled at me, and I smiled back.

After a few minutes, they left. But not without a makeout session provided by Mom and Tom.

Eugh.

"So, how long have you known Tom?" I asked Mom while we were making dinner.

"About… four years?" She smiled, probably thinking about Tom.

"Oh," I muttered, slicing the potatoes for the stew a little too hard. "And you didn't bother to tell me about your little romance?"

"Well, I didn't think it was going to be serious!" she defended. "I mean, sure, we've done some pretty crazy things in the sack and- "

"Gosh, Mom, TMI!"

She rolled here eyes and smiled at me. "Also, we like to roleplay."

I dropped the potatoes and knife on the table and said, "That's it. I lost my appetite."

I ran up to my room and called Chad. "Chad, how's your step dad?"

"Who? Frank?" he asked, confused. We both hate Fanny-Pack Frank. We call him that because he gives everyone fanny packs as Christmas, birthday, and anniversary gifts. He's weird. And not good-weird like Nico and Grady, just plain, straight-up cuckoo.

"Yeah. You know, Mom was so jealous of your mom, so she decided to get a husband of her own!" I screeched.

"Uh… Is this your way of telling me that Aunt Connie's getting married?"

"NO, CHAD! THIS IS MY WAY OF TELLING YOU THAT I WANT TO ROLL AROUND IN KETCHUP AND SING KELLY ROWLAND SONGS!"

I feel bad for screaming at him, but Chad's the only one I could scream at and not feel guilty. Mom, on the other hand…

"Okay, chill. I know you're mad, but please, I like being able to hear," he said gently. He knows that one wrong move and I'll snap.

I sighed and muttered, "Sorry, but I can't exactly blow up in front of Mom…"

I could almost _hear_ him smile. "Aww, remember when I was mad at the world when I found out Mom was going to marry a douche bag…"

"That's the thing!" I sighed, exasperated. "Tom's completely nice! It's really hard to hate him."

"Then don't."

"But he's marrying my mother!"

"And he makes her happy."

I groaned. Chad was right, and I hate it. "Fine, fine, I'll be nice."

"Good. Hey, just out of curiosity, does he have a daughter?"

"Yeah. Her name's Tawni."

"She hot?"

"I… I guess…"

"Awesome! Hey, maybe I can milk your situation a little by making her my girlfriend." He laughed.

I let out a fake chuckle and lied, "Hey, I have to go now. My phone's almost dead. Call me tomorrow?"

"Definitely."

I smiled then hang up. I like talking to Chad. He knows what to say, when to kiss-up, and when to pick a fight. If only he wasn't so oblivious, though.

"Hey, Sonny," a female voice behind me say. I spun around to see that it was Tawni in all her pink and bedazzled glory.

"Oh, hey, Tawni. Um, what're you doing here?"

She rolled her blue eyes and said, "Dad wanted some 'alone time' with Connie."

We simultaneously cringed at the thought.

She sat down next to me on my bed. We talked for a while, but then she saw the picture of Chad on my bedside table. "Ooh la la, who is this cutie?" she as she picked up the picture.

"My best friend. He's Chad."

She quirked a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "But… he's a dude…"

"Well, yeah, but he's still my best friend." I blushed at the thought of Chad, a goofy, lovesick smile on my face.

Tawni studied me carefully for a moment. It was creepy, but I let her have her fun. I don't know what girls like her did as a hobby, so if it's staring and studying people, then so be it. After a few seconds, her face lit up. "You _like_ him!"

"Wh- what? Psh! Psh, no! I do not!" I denied, my voice going high.

"Please. I know these things." She flipped her blond locks over her shoulder. "Millions of guys have liked me. I can detect love a mile away. No, seriously, there was this guy, his name's Evan, and he bought me a CD, while there was this guy Shane, who liked me too, so he got me- "

I sighed, giving up. I really don't want to hear about other people's love life. "Fine, fine, I kinda… love Chad. But if you tell anyone, I swear that I will- "

She suddenly squealed and jumped up from my bed, cutting me off. "I have an idea! Let's give you a makeover! To make Chuck- "

"Chad."

"–like you!"

A _makeover?_

Does she mean a makeover with all that pink stuff and clothes and hairspray and all that crap on Plain Jane?

**[A/N: No offense to any Plain Jane fanatics, okay? It just seemed like something AU's Sonny would say.]**

"A _what_?"

"A makeover! Come on, Sonny! It'll be fun! We're going to make you pretty!"

"Are you calling me ugly?" I narrowed my eyes.

"… And, uh, plus, we'll get to spend more time together! We're going to be sisters, right?" Changing the subject… Smart move, Tawni.

"look Tawni, I appreciate your enthusiasm to fix my non-existent love life, but…" I explained gently. "I'm completely fine with Chad not knowing that I like him."

Tawni rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Fine, but if you don't agree to do the makeover =, I'm going to tell Chad that you like – no, wait, _love_ him," she threatened, her smug smirk deepening.

My mouth fell open in shock. "But that's… that's blackmail!"

"Exactly."

* * *

><p>So now, here I was, at the local mall. I brought along a bag to put this diary in. Tawni doesn't know about this diary, and I'm planning on keeping it that way. I know that if she finds out about this, I know I'll never hear the end of it. "Sonny, why are you scared of fish?" "What's a WinkleBob?" "You subscribed to a magazine? An actual magazine without pictures of cars or swords?" "<em>You<em>_sing?__"_

And, etcetera, etcetera…

"Sonny!" I heard Tawni call from the other side of the room. Some other ladies shopping turned to look at her and then stare at me. They looked at my baggy jeans, _Daughtry_t-shirt, and black Converse sneakers. I could see them one by one roll their eyes and look through the slut-themed dresses they were going through before Tawni decided to show that her screech could break glass. "What do you think of this dress?"

She held up a pink tiger-print mini dress that would make me look like an expensive prostitute.

I shook my head furiously, making her roll her eyes and stomp back to the clothes racks. After five minutes, she rushed back to me with a mountain of clothes in her arms, being followed by salesladies with carts full of clothes.

This is going to be a _long_ day…

* * *

><p>I'm now in a changing booth that was as big as my room. I just hope that there aren't any hidden cameras here like Tawni said. She told me that "the hidden cameras are to see if there are people who brought weed." Please. The guards just want to see some women in their underwear and jack off or something…<p>

I rummaged through the stacks (Yes, stacks. Plural.) of pink and purple ass-showing clothes, hoping to find something decent. I found a red dress with a sweetheart neckline. It was cute compared to the other crap in the pile of clothing Tawni forced into my arms.

I tried it on hastily and came out to show Tawni. She was reading a magazine, but she quickly put it down when she saw my appearance.

"Wow," she said. "Who knew you had breasts?"

I glared at her and stomped back into the booth. I grabbed the pile of "rejected" dresses and came out. "Here," I said, "these are yours."

I then threw the surprisingly heavy pile at Tawni. She screamed, almost falling down because of the weight of the dresses. I smiled while she glared at me.

"You know," she muttered angrily, "because of this, we're going to Victoria's Secret next."

* * *

><p>And that, people, was when I learned that Tawni Hart never lies.<p>

I can never look at my underwear the same way again…

-add overly dramatic cringe here-

"Sonny! Come on! We have to buy more shoes!" Tawni shouted at me. I was sitting on a bench by the girlie-girlie store Tawni came out of. Suddenly, she tensed up.

"What is it?" I asked. I looked at what she was staring at.

What I saw almost made me cry.

It was Chad. He was with someone…

A _girl _someone.

I suddenly pulled Tawni into the store she was just in before Chad could see us. We peered through the glass display, hoping to get a better look at the two without them knowing.

The girl he was with was pretty. Beautiful, even. She had fair skin, layered dark brown hair that could be mistaken as black, almond-shaped eyes that matched the color of her hair, and full rosy lips. She didn't seem like the type that Chad would go for…

I mean, her clothes were actually decent, non-Barbie-ish, and didn't look like it was specially made for a stripper; just a deep violet dress with a thick black belt around her waist, a black leather jacket, black tights and black "booties", as Tawni called them.

She was competition.

I looked at Tawni, a look on my face that was a mixture of distress, jealousy, hurt, and confusion. Sure, Chad is extremely – and I mean _extremely_– attractive, sweet in some ways, and he had sick abs, but… I never thought that he's get a real girlfriend. One that could stay, at least.

Then, an idea popped into my head. "How about we see if Chad's really serious about her?" I muttered to Tawni.

She had a confused look on her face, but nodded anyway.

I grabbed my phone and called Chad. Tawni glanced at the salesladies behind us, probably wondering why two teenage girls were spying on a guy on a date and decided that they use their store as their stakeout location.

I watched Chad pick up his phone while _she_intertwined their fingers. Why that little-

"Sonny?"

"Hey, Chad, where are you? We're supposed to play Mario Kart today, remember?"

"Oh, sorry! I, uh, I forgot. I'm with my Dad…"

Little bitch.

"Oh, I could see that you Dad really changed. How much were his breast implants?"

"Uh, what?"

"It's just that I see you with someone that looks a lot like a teenage girl."

He started to look around, completely freaked out. "What are you talking about? Where are you?"

I hung up my phone and grabbed a Styrofoam rock from the store's display. I ran out of the shop and on my way to Tawni's pink convertible, I threw the fake rock at his head.

It practically flew to his direction and made a _"__plop!__" _when it bounced off his hair that I now think is stupid and overrated.

I heard Tawni's seven-inch heels click-clack behind me, so I slowed my pace.

Chad probably thought that I was mad because he lied to me, but..

Ugh, I sound like that depressed girl that's always _sad-sad-sad_ because of some dude in those lame teen dramas.

"I'm so sorry, Sonny…," Tawni mumbled when I finally stopped running. I sank to the floor and leaned black on her car. Tawni suddenly hugged me.

It's a good thing I don't wear makeup because it probably would have been running. I still looked like a mess, though.

I… just never expected my best friend to break my heart…

* * *

><p>I was eating ice cream on my bed, watching a chick flick that had Jennifer Aniston in it.<p>

Chad messed me up.

"Adam, how can you now see that Jen is perfect for you?" I cried at the screen, shoveling more ice cream into my mouth almost obsessively.

I sneezed into a tissue and threw it into the trash can that now held a few pictures of Chad and I last summer.

Throw in a hot guy on my doorstep, begging for my forgiveness and you've got a blockbuster hit.

Tawni then walked into my room, a concerned frown on her face. "Put the ice cream down, Sonny."

"Why?" I sobbed, my voice cracking. "It's not like anybody cares! I could fall into a hole right now and Chad still wouldn't care! He'll be too busy making out with his new personal slut!" I screamed melodramatically. It was almost comical.

"A moment on your lips," Tawni said, rolling her eyes, "is a lifetime on your hips."

"Shut up, Tawni," I growled. I started to eat more ice cream, but Tawni grabbed the bowl from my hands. "Hey!"

"We are going to make you pretty whether you like it or not." She dragged me from my bed to the vanity that my Mom gave me for my seventeenth birthday. I hate the thing, but how can I throw out a twenty-pound vanity without Mom seeing?

Tawni wiped the chocolate off my face and pulled my hair out of its ponytail. I think she plucked out seven strands of hair and a few scraps of my scalp.

She told me that we could "unveil" my new look tomorrow when we meet with the boys for our yearly Mario Kart championships.

The makeover was… bearable. The only thing I didn't like (aside from the plucking, pulling, and styling) was that Tawni refused to let me look in the mirror.

It took hours to cut, dye and style my hair. Yes, _dye._I think it's either black or green now.

And don't even get me started about picking my outfit. We spent tens of thousands of dollars (thank you, Tom's credit card) on hundreds of articles of clothing, so it was a lot to go though. My closet's about to barf all of it out in five seconds.

Tawni finally picked out a dark violet, almost sparkly, tank top, paint-splattered white skinny jeans and boots that were definitely _not _made for walking.

For all the pop-techno kiddies out there, that was a Frank Sinatra (R.I.P.) reference.

Tawni positioned me in front of my cloth-covered mirror. The anticipation made me want to pull my newly-dyed, barf-mixed-with-lavender-smelling hair.

"Are you ready?"

"Well- "

"Don't care!" She pulled the cloth and the girl in the mirror was _so__not_me…

My hair was darker and curlier. My pale skin practically glowed because of the natural-looking makeup Tawni put on me. I looked... not like me.

"Damn, I look good!"

Tawni smiled. I hugged her unexpectedly. "Thanks, Tawn."

"Please. You think this is free?"

I pulled away from the hug and cocked an eyebrow. I expected Tawni to laugh, but she didn't.

"How much?" I sighed.

"A date with the hot guy you're close to."

"Chad?"

"No, the one with the hats."

…Nico?

Tawni likes NICO?

Don't get me wrong, Nico's sweet and he's like a brother to me, but… Him with Tawni?

Ew.

She held out her hand. "Is it a deal? I mean, we're both the same size, I can steal all your clothes when you go to sleep."

I smiled and shook her hand. "Deal."

Maybe Mom re-marrying won't be so bad after all.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the slow updates on my other stories! I was just really busy with my contest, and school, and this story (it's kinda my favorite.) I mean, I filled 11 pages. It took me four hours! Okay, fine, I watch some Channy and Seddie videos on YouTube and I play some games, but still...<strong>

**11 pages!  
><strong>

**So, if you like this story, review. And if you _really_ like it, review again!**

**-Gabby**

**P.S. And remember, more reviews means that it will be more likely for me to update early. ;)**


	3. Bad Dreams and Hannah Montana Songs

"_All great art comes from a sense of outrage." – Glenn Close_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Awkward<strong>_

"Honey… Honey… Honey! HEY! WAKE UP!" a female voice screeched, waking me from my slumber.

My eyes shot open as I quickly sat up. I looked around, frazzled. "Wh-wha-? What is it? Where's the fire?"

"Good morning, doll!"

I turned to look at the person that greeted me. Her voice sounded familiar… It was like Mom's voice, only this voice is a bit more high-pitched that my-

Holy crud, my mother is in a ball gown.

And… blonde?

"MOM? What the-"

"No time for chit-chat, Tess. We have to meet Tom and Tawni for brunch!" she exclaimed, jolly and disgustingly pink.

I looked at her, confusion evident on my face, which was probably flushed right now. "Tess? Mom, who's Tess? I'm Sonny!"

Mom's face scrunched up, and then looked at me as if I was in a mermaid costume. And by the level of crazy this morning, I wouldn't be surprised if I was Ariel right now. "Sonny? No, darling, you changed your name to Tess when I married Tom. And I changed my name to Tiffany Teresa, remember? So we could match the Harts!"

My jaw fell to the floor. _Oh __no__… _I looked at Mom's platinum blond hair and then touched my own. I closed my eyes, silently pleading to myself, _Please,__ please __don__'__t __let __it __be__ blond__…_

Ugh. It was a sickly bright yellow color.

Oh dear Lord, it's like monkey puke!

I then looked down at what I was wearing, wondering if it was a dress like my Mom's, because if it is…

"Uh, Mom… Why am I wearing a stupid green ball gown?"

"Because we live in a palace now, honey! Don't you remember? Boy, you sure are acting strange this morning…"

Says that person talking like she's the fairy goddamn mother.

"And your dress is not stupid! It's beautiful; it's the color of-"

"Snot? Moss? Lint you find in your belly button?"

"Spring."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, I'm pretty sure a season doesn't have a color…"

"Whatever. Now get up, we have to meet your fiancé, that lovely boy, James Conroy."

J-James? Conroy?

I screamed. I screamed louder than when I saw a rat-thing that my Mom called a dog on my bed when I was seven or when I bungee-jumped for the first time. I thought my Mom would hush me or something a normal mother would do, but she just smiled widely, as if she was used to my screams filling the air and breaking her eardrums.

"Tess? Whatever is the matter, sister dear?" Tawni came in the room, her eyebrows raised and her skirt in her hand.

Wait. Why the fuck is she dressed like Cinderella?

"TAWNI?"

The door then swung open, only to reveal my best friend in a blue outfit that was worn by Prince Charming, the dude with the horse and the sword. "And Chad!" Chad added, butting in, coming into my room. "Morning Tess, Tiffany Teresa, and hello, gorgeous." He kissed Tawni's cheek, making her giggle, while I just sat there, mouth agape, my eyes bulging out of their sockets. I think I looked like a retarded fish.

And then I fainted.

* * *

><p>"Sonny? Sonny?" a female voice called, gently shaking me. "ALLISON!"<p>

And before I knew it, I was on the floor. I muttered three shits and a fuck, but made sure it was quiet enough for only me to hear in case it was my Mom. I don't want soap for breakfast again.

"Munroe! Wake up before my boots made a print on your right kidney!" Was that… Tawni?

I opened my eyes, hoping to see someone other that my blonde future-stepsister. But, alas, for fate just pukes on my hopes and dreams, my wish wasn't granted.

She was in another bright pink eye-bruising outfit, hovering over me, showing off her pearly whites by grinning at me in a way that reminded me of Snow White's evil stepmother.

"Tawni? Is that you?" I yawned, rubbing my eyes lazily.

"No," she said sarcastically, helping me get up. "I'm George Clooney." She looked at her bright pink nails and rolled her eyes.

"What are you even doing here so early in the morning?" I asked, sitting on my bed, wanting to lay on it again. Funny how beds are more comfortable when you're forced to drag your lazy ass to school. Or in my case, Chad's room.

"Uh, it's like, two o'clock in the afternoon…"

I looked at her wide-eyed, quickly jumping up from my lavender and white bed. "TWO IN THE AFTERNOON?"

"Yeah, you were asleep for like, fourteen-"

I cut her off by running to my shower, screaming, "Go get my outfit! I have to be at Chad's in an hour!"

"Wait, I thought you were mad at him?" she called me from outside my bathroom door.

"Yeah, but…" I paused, turning on my shower, "I just kinda want him so that he'll-"

"Love you?"

I snorted, but secretly knew she was right. "No, I, uh, want him to see that… I'm capable of, um… being hot…"

I heard Tawni's heels _click-clack_ from the outside of my bathroom, and probably into my closet to get my outfit.

I came out five minutes later in my bathrobe, a towel wrapped around my hair.

Tawni was sitting in front of my computer, reading what I wrote when I was younger about my first crush.

"_But __then__ I __found __myself __getting__ tired. __The__ beautiful __moments __we __shared __became __insufficient, __and__ I __found __myself __thinking __about __him__ less __and __less_," she read aloud. "_The __magic __of __first__ love__ withered __away, __and__ I__ started__ to __wonder __if__ it __was__ just __infatuation._

"_The__ feeling __came__ back, __though; __things __became __beautiful __again. __It __was __unintentional __and __a __little __unfortunate__ because__ he__ still __won__'__t __notice __me, __but __it __was __didn__'__t __matter __much __at __the__ moment;__ the__ enchantment __of __the __magical __moments __such__ as __coincidental __simultaneous__ glances __and __hidden __blushes __blinded__ me__…_"

I didn't mind her reading what I wrote, since I was too busy daydreaming about Chad… But then I came back to my senses. I cleared my throat loudly, making Tawni look at me.

"Oh, hey, Sonny." She waved at me nonchalantly and continued reading. "_It didn't help that he got another girlfriend that year. Her name was Alanis Meagan. She was practically the bane of my life, if only Chad wasn't so happy when he was with her – happier than with me and his other friends, even. Getting rid her was harder than getting rid of Stacie… She was with Chad for more than seven months, while Stacie only stayed for three weeks, thanks to her newly found boyfriend, Jeff, who was my second cousin, once removed."_

"Will you please stop reading the story of my life. I have be at Chad's house in," I looked at the clock, "forty-five minutes!"

"Fine, fine." She sighed, giving up. She threw a white sundress at me, screeching at me to put it on.

"A dress?"

"Yeah!"

I sighed then looked at her expectantly. She looked at me with a "what is it?" face, eyebrows raised and lips pursed.

"Well? Get out."

"What?"

"I'm gonna change now…"

"Yeah…"

"You're still here…"

Her eyebrows knitted together, but then she realized what I meant. "Oh, sorry!"

Ten minutes later, I was already in my dress, makeup and hair done all perfectly thanks to Tawni.

"Thanks, Tawn." I smiled at her.

She snorted and smirked. "Pay up. I want my date with Nick."

"Nico."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." She grabbed her overly bedazzled designer bag. "Now, come on, let's go to your playdate with the boys!"

I raised my eyebrows. "My little _what?_"

"Playdate, meeting, rendezvous, _The Boys' and Sonny's Video Game Day_, whatever you call it."

I narrowed my eyes and opened my mouth to speak, but was cut of by Tawni running out the door, calling behind her, "Race you to the parking lot!"

"Wait!" I called after her. "I have to put…"

The door slammed shut.

"My… shoes on…"

I sighed, put my sandals on, and raced out the door. I stumbled a little, but I managed to make to the end of the hallway. Tawni was already inside the elevator, pushing the button to the lobby frantically. I ran to her as the door started to go down.

"Hold the door!" I screamed to her. But she just gave me her patented evil smile, laughing as the door closed fully.

Getting my competitiveness from my Mom, who once broke Jenni Bourke's leg while playing hide and seek when they were seven, I refused to lose. I ran down seven flights of stairs without taking a break, while Tawni was probably checking her nails right now, listening to elevator music.

Five minutes later, I was in the parking lot, trying to catch my breath. I ran to my car, only to find Tawni standing in front of my car, staring at it like it just slapped her grandma.

"We are _not _taking this piece of metal…"

"Tawni, all cars are metal," I explained, sighing and rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, but this is… this is ugly! Ugly metal!"

I glared at her, muttering, "That ugly metal happen to be my baby."

She looked at me as if I was crazy, then burst out laughing. "No, no. We're taking your Porsche."

"How do you know about my Porsche?"

She looked around the parking lot, before mumbling, "I have my sources."

"My mom?"

"Pretty much."

I gave her the keys and she ran to my car, climbing into the passenger's seat. She patted the driver's seat, telling me to hurry up.

I rolled my eyes and jumped into the convertible. My silver car drove smoothly out of the parking lot, my heart beating unusually fast at the thought of facing Chad.

"What if he doesn't like me back?" I asked Tawni, distressed. We were almost at Chad's house, and I was sweating so much that I was practically sliding off my leather seats. But Tawni, however, didn't seem to hear me. She was too busy listening to a song that most twelve-year-olds forgot.

"_I can be glamorous just like you see in all the magazines,__ I can be cool as ice or anything I wanna be,_ _who said, who said, I can't be Superman?__ I say, I say, that I know I can,__ who said, who said, I can't be president?__ I say, I say, you ain't see nothing yet-"_

"TAWNI!"

"What?"She pulled her earphones off, sighing.

"Stop singing Hannah Montana songs and listen to me! I'm freaking out!"

"_Go on and make some noise,_ _every girl has a choice,_ _to lead her own parade,_ _I do it my way,_ _I can be soft and sweet or louder than the radio,_ _I can be sophisticated,_ _or totally good,_ _out of control…," _she cooed_._

Well, fan-fucking-tasic.

* * *

><p><strong>I know it's not really that good or anything, but I have an excuse! I am BURIED in schoolwork so I had to type this really fast, not editing anything. Forgive me please? I know that Sonny's girlier and less aggressive here, but I promise you, she's not becoming soft or anything. Sorry for the errors! The Hannah Montana song was added just because I found it on my iPod, so I just kinda wrote it here for no reason.<br>**

**Oh, and the thing that Tawni was reading actually came from _my_ diary. The first two parts, at least. I was just bored one day, so I made a little story about my first crush... What do you think about it? Was it lame?**

**Review? :)**


	4. Unexpected

_"Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better, and your better is best." _-_Tim Duncan, quoting his mother._

* * *

><p>I named this chapter unexpected, because some of its contents is, well, unexpected.<p>

Okay, quick warning: I wrote this in a hurry, so it's kinda short and lame a little bit. I think this is the most dramatic and un-funny chapter yet, but if you're a Channy fan, I think you'll still like it. It's kinda up and down, since I had no main plot...

-Gabby

* * *

><p><em><strong>Awkward<strong>_

We pulled up to Chad's driveway after twenty minutes of panicking – and seven Hannah Montana songs.

I sighed and buried my head in my hands. My mind flashed back to the day I saw Chad with the girl.

I started to shake, close to tears. Tawni seemed to notice, because she wrapped an arm around my shoulders, her head resting on the crook of my neck. She smiled, and started to croon softly, probably thinking it would make me feel better.

_"I'm super cool, super hot, livin' like a rock star, you think I'm super, you think I'm super, on the cover of your magazine, wherever I go they make a scene, I'm super, super, I'm super-duper, so you wanna be just like, so you wanna be just like-"_

"Shut up, Tawni."

She rolled her eyes, sitting upright again. She patted my shoulder before getting up from my car. I stayed for a few more seconds before finally getting out.

I saw Tawni gaping at Chad's driveway, probably intimidated by its hugeness.

"It's big, huh?" I smirked.

"I'll say… Jeez, Sonny, you have good taste in guys! Hot, rich…," she trailed off. "Hey, um, if you two don't work out, can I-"

"No, Tawni."

We walked inside the house, on our way to Chad's room, when I decided to stop by the kitchen to greet Mrs. Cooper.

"Hey, Tawni, I'm just going to the kitchen, okay? I have to-"

Tawni cut me off, rolling her eyes for the seventy fifth time, "Sonny, I know you love this guy, but stealing his food to add to your shrine won't-"

"I'm going to greet Mrs. Cooper."

"…Oh."

I walked away, shaking my head. If Tom's anything like Tawni, I think I should at least warn Mom.

I entered the kitchen, holding my breath. Chad's exactly like his Mom, excluding some of Mrs. Cooper's Taylor Lauthner memorabilia-collecting fetishes Chad didn't seem to have, so if Mrs. Cooper likes my new 'look', then maybe Chad will, too.

She was sitting by the counter, reading the business section of her newspaper, her cup of coffee by the sink.

"Hey, Mrs. Cooper," I greeted her, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Good afternoon, Allis-" she started, not looking up from her paper. She stopped in mid-sentence, finally looking at my appearance. "Sonny?"

"Hey…" I muttered awkwardly. "Uh, notice anything, um, different?"

Her eyes went wide. She tried to speak, but her perfectly glossed mouth just formed an "O" shape. All of a sudden, she ran to hug me. Her bright smile caught me off guard, because I expected just a small, "You look nice," since Mrs. Cooper is usually elegant and reserved.

I awkwardly wrap my arm around her, not really knowing what to do.

"Dear, you've grown up so much…," she mumbled happily. "Boy, Chaddy is going to be so surprised!" She pulled away, not really noticing that it was extremely uncomfortable for me. "Don't worry, Sonny. He's going to be blown away."

"Um… Thanks Mrs. Cooper." I smiled. Just then, Frank walked inside, his sloppy auburn hair now a dark brown, a bottle of _Man__ Colors _in his beefy hand.

"Hello, Allison," he greeted. He turned to Mrs. Cooper and asked, "Sweetie, is it normal that I found a louse in my head?" His smooth voice full of confusion. It was a little freaky how he and his stepson were so alike; they had the same eyes and voice. Chad and Frank seemed almost like they were blood relatives…

Frank shyly walked up to us, scratching his head furiously. I took a small step back, along with Mrs. Cooper.

I'd never tell Chad, but when I was younger, I used to have a crush on Frank Cooper. He was hot in that older man, sorta geeky way. If it weren't for his huge glasses and hair, he almost looks like Jesse McCartney. Maybe that's why I used to like him, because of similarities to Jesse, who was – and is, if Chad and I don't work out – my dream guy.

Seriously, I could go on for hours about Jesse McCartney, but since all you readers of my diary, that might be leaked on the Internet once Tawni finds out that I actually have this thing, I'll stop right here.

"Oh." Mrs. Cooper sighed. She gave me a small smile and then pulled Frank into the bathroom with lice shampoo in her hand. I don't know why she didn't just _give _him the shampoo and let him take his bath on his own, but hey, if that's their thing…

I ran to Chad's room, slowing down when I heard a male voice when I was near the door.

"Hey there, gorgeous." I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned around.

James was behind me. Crap.

He was smirking in a way that made me want to punch him, because it was his signature _I-am-so-getting-it-on-with-this-girl_ smirk, but refrained myself, since it will probably give me away.

"So, you're Sonny's stepsister she told Chad about?" he asked, that smirk still on his face.

I started to stutter, "Uh… Well, I…" He raised his eyebrows, his impatience evident on his face.

"Are you Sonny's stepsister?" he asked again.

I looked around, looking for a thing to stall him with. "Uh… Hey, look," I pointed to my foot, "there's a birthmark on my foot."

He looked confused for a moment before looking at my heart-shaped birthmark. His eyes went big, and I immediately regret what I said.

James was the first one to notice my birthmark when I was eight.

"Sonny?"

Then what I expected the least happened.

He winked at me.

"Damn, Munroe. What happened to _you_?" He slyly grinned at me, a small gleam in his eyes.

"W-well… I, uh, I'll tell you later when the rest of the guys see me." I crossed my arms defiantly, even though I was almost close to hyperventilating.

He smirked at me, and then moved his face close to mine. "You know, Sonny, you didn't have to do all this. We both know you're trying to impress someone… A guy, to be exact."

My eyes narrowed as I moved a few steps backward. "And how do _you_ know?"

"I've known you for years, Munroe. I know how you act when you like someone. _I_was the first to figure out that you liked Chad's step-dad, and _I_was the only one who knows about your little fling with that guy last summer."

I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by James.

"I know you like one of your best guy friends, and it turns out, he likes you too."

My eyes lit up. "He does?"

"He always has…"

I was about to ask him how he knew, but my lips seemed to be, er, quieted.

My eyes went big, and I did what I always do when I got surprised: I punched his eye.

He stumbled backward, his head crashing on the floor. He stood up, his hand covering his eye and shouted, "What the fuck, Munroe? I thought you liked me?"

"I don't! I was talking about-" I stopped in mid-sentence, thinking for a moment. "Someone that's _not_ you!"

He glared at me, his face turning red. Out of embarrassment, out of anger, I don't know. All I knew was that I had my first kiss and it wasn't with Chad. I was about ready to wrap James' ears around his ankles for that.

"Well, who were you talking about then? Ferguson? Grady? Chad?"

I blushed immediately after hearing Chad's name. I was about to speak when I heard a gasp behind me.

It was Chad.

"Sonny? Is that you?" His eyes were big, his eyebrows were raised, and he was gaping at me.

I smiled awkwardly as I raised my arms above my head. "Surprise?"

* * *

><p>I was now in Chad's room, surrounded by the boys. I was uncomfortably playing with my hair while everyone – except Tawni – was staring at me.<p>

"I can't believe it… Sonny's in a dress!" Grady exclaimed. I turned to glare at him, since he was behind me, but all I saw was Chad's chest.

He was hugging me.

"Chad… why… are… you… hugging… me?" I managed to breathe out, since Chad's death grip was squishing all the oxygen out of me.

"Because, Munroe! You can help me!"

I looked up at him, confused. His eyes were shining and a huge grin was on his face. It was sorta creepy. Creepy-cute, but still creepy, nevertheless.

"What are you talking about?"

He let go of me, which kinda made me sad and relieved at the same time. Sad because he wasn't hugging me anymore, and relieved because five more seconds of Chad's arms around me and I could have. And I don't mean that in a romantic way, I mean that I couldn't breathe properly because Chad's triceps grew last year and they were squeezing the living shit out of me.

"Well, my Mom wants me to bring a date to her boss' parties…"

My heart started to beat faster and faster. Was he asking me out?

"And I need a fake date!"

My face fell. A _fake__ date_? "I thought you already had a girlfriend? The girl you were with yesterday?"

He raised his eyebrows and chuckled. "Um, she's my cousin."

"YOUR COUSIN?" That wasn't me. That was Tawni.

We both turned to look at her, her eager face creeping both of us a little. But Nico, on the other hand, just moved closer to her. James glanced at them, an almost jealous look on his eyes, and then winked at me.

Chad raised his eyebrows at me and James, and asked, "Why'd you wink at her?"

Tawni grinned. "Is that jealousy I hear?"

I rolled my eyes at them and looked at Chad. "Fine. I'll go to the party."

And that is the story about how I became Chad's girlfriend. A fake one, but still his girlfriend.

* * *

><p>I apologize for its lameness, okay? But still, review please! For a quicker chapter, because if I don't get a lot of reviews, I'll probably update in a week or so, since I'm buried in schoolwork. Sorry.<p>

Also, sorry for the last chapter. I realize that you guy thought it would be the big moment when Chad would see Sonny's new look, but I had a time limit, so it was all I could do at that time.

Shoutout to BadRoseGal for winning my contest!


	5. At the Mall

"_Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe." – Josh Billings_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Awkward<strong>_

Mall (noun):

**[mawl; _Brit.__also_ mal]**

Also called **shopping**** mall.** A large retail complex containing a variety of stores and often restaurants and other business establishments housed in a series of connected or adjacent buildings or in a single large building. Compare shopping center.

The only thing Sonny Munroe hates more than the color pink.

So why am I in one?

Well, dear readers, there are two possibilities: 1.) Aliens have come to Earth, kidnapped me and shoved me in a garbage bag, then picked _The__ Pink__ and__ Pretty__ Palace __of__ Traci_ as their new home and made me their queen or, 2.) Chad dragged me here to pick my outfit for our "date."

Nope, you're wrong. Chad brought me here for the date.

Oh, and he also brought Tawni.

So, let's make a little equation now, shall we?

Me + Chad and Tawni – anyone I know who is sane x pink clothes everywhere = A three-hour preview of hell

"Sonny! Come on! We picked a dress for you!' Tawni screamed from the other side of the shop. She was grabbing bright, rotten cheese colored dresses, while Chad was on the bright pink couch, happily snoozing, completely oblivious to the pack of salesladies staring at him and swooning every time he snored.

I rolled my eyes and tucked this diary into my leather bag. Don't get me wrong, I hate the killing-the-animals-for-the-leather part, but it went so well with my new skirt, and…

Oh, God, they turned me into one of them.

"Sonny! Come on! We only have an hour left before we have to go to–"

"Let me guess," I hissed, walking towards her, "Pinky's Pinky Pink Palace?" I crossed my arms, waiting for a sarcastic response. But she just turned back to the clothes racks and smiled.

"No, silly, it's Pinky's Pinky _Princess_ Palace!"

And with that, she shoved sparkly, monkey-puke colored… uh, articles of clothing.

"What are these?" I asked, trying to carry all the clothes. A bright pink panty fell out of the pile, earning Tawni a glare from me.

"Dresses, duh!" she chirped, all perky-ly. If she were another person and her dad wasn't marrying Mom, I would have choked her with the legwarmer that fell on the floor.

Perky people disgust me.

"Dresses? Tawni, these are _not_ dresses! These are over-stretched sports bras stapled to big belts!"

She didn't seem to hear me, though, because she just shooed me away with her hand furiously. Her bright pink nails almost scraped a saleslady's face, who was too busy gawking at Chad to notice that Tawni was only a few feet away from her. The saleslady, whose silver nametag read, 'Melainiee', quickly jumped away in shock.

I sighed. I was used to other girl staring at Chad. When I met him, he was surrounded – wait, no, _worshipped_– by girls raging from ages 4 to 12.

* * *

><p><em>"But Mommy! I don't want to go to that stupid playground! It's full of… of…" I thought for a second. Then I remembered what my friend, Sam, who was from Seattle, called girlie-girls, "full off daffodils!"<em>

_ Mommy rolled her pretty blue eyes and held my hand tighter. "Honey, you're a girl too, you know."_

_"Yeah, but I'm no daffodil!"_

_ Mommy rolled her eyes again, making me roll mine as well. Mommy and I are complete opposites; she's perky and used to take ballet, while I'm… well, I'm sure as heck I'm not like her. _

_ "Mommy, can't I just go with Daddy to the bowling alley again?" I asked her, my signature puppy-dog-eyes-and-pout gracing my pale face. _

_ "Sonny, darling, you have to make some friends.'_

_ I opened my mouth, but was cut off by Mommy saying something again. "Sam, Carly, Freddie, and Gibby from Seattle don't count. We're in Texas now, not in Wisconsin, not in Seattle. You never know, maybe you'll meet your first crush…"_

_ My face quickly scrunched up. "Ew, Mommy, boys have cooties! And besides, I'm never gonna marry. I'm gonna adopt a buttload of babies and when they grow up, they're gonna take care of me." I smiled brightly._

_ Mommy didn't say anything. She just grinned and stopped walking. I turned my head to see what she was grinning at, and when I did, my face quickly fell._

_We were at the playground._

_ I examined everyone in the park. A group of big boys were playing basketball, while girls about the same age were sitting on benches, watching the boys while giggling with their friends. They were in short skirts and matching berets. They were obviously not French, hence one of them screeching, "Oh ma gawd, did you see Brian? He is _sooo_ hawt!", so I didn't get why they were in berets._

_ Another group of boys on the other side of the playground were trading cards. I really wanted to join them, but Mommy pushed me to a bunch of tall girls in pink and purple dresses surrounding a boy my age._

_ I didn't get what the big deal was, until I saw him. He was like the eight-year-old Brad Cruise or whoever it was Mommy keeps rambling on and on about whenever Daddy wasn't around. _

_ He apparently said something funny, because the group of girls erupted in exaggerated laughter. "Oh my gosh, Chad!" a girl with bright red hair exclaimed, giggling. "You are _soo _funny!"_

_ The boy cockily smirked. He turned his head in my direction, then smiled warmly at me. I was so mesmerized by his eyes that I was frozen on the spot. _

_ Yeah, yeah, you're probably thinking, "Why does an eight-year-old know so many big words?"_

_ Well, since Daddy's a teacher, I learned a few stuff. The only thing I didn't seem to understand was Math. I mean, come on! Fractions? Long division? I'm gonna be a superstar/president/pony doctor, I don't have to know what 5 x 7 is._

_Whatever. Back to the story._

_ The other girls looked at me, too, and sent me death glares. I smirked cockily at them like the boy did, making them roll their eyes and gawking at the boy once more._

_ After a silent ten minutes of writing in this diary alone in a park bench by a maple tree, I heard the wooden bench make a slight _creek_ sound. I snapped my head to my left, only to find the bright-eyed boy staring back._

_ I smiled at him, before saying, "What are you doing here? Your loyal subjects are gonna miss you."_

_ He chuckled, grinning. "Please. They can wait. And besides, they just want to earn some respect from me because of my brother."_

_ I raised my eyebrows at him. _

_ "His name's Brian. He's the tall, blonde basketball player that Kaitee and the other girls were giggling on and on about."_

_ "The ones in the berets?"_

_ "Yeah."_

_ I looked down, laughing. "But, what about the four-year-olds?"_

_ "Oh, no, those ladies are mine."_

_ I laughed even harder, and pretty soon, he was laughing with me. We were guffawing and rolling on the ground for two minutes before we heard a shrill scream. "THERE HE IS!"_

_The girls ran after us for five minutes until we hid behind a bush behind Ms. Benitez's house. We heard their feet stomping on the ground getting softer and softer. _

_ When we knew they were gone, we jumped out of the bush before Mr. Benitez saw us. He was a man who was physically forty-two, but acted like he was eighty. Not in a bake-cookies-and-sit-in-a-rocking-chair-pleasantly eighty, I mean, 'Get-outta-my-yard-you-crazy-hooligans!' eighty. _

_ We ran back to the park when the girls were gone and the boys were still playing basketball. I turned to him, still panting because we ran almost ten blocks non-stop, and smiled. "I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship."_

* * *

><p>I snapped out of my daydream, and realized I have been standing there for almost five minutes, staring at the ceiling. Tawni was picking out more clothes, while Chad was looking at me worryingly. "You okay, Munroe?"<p>

"Yeah, yeah… I was just thinking of when I first moved to Texas…" I mumbled absentmindedly. He smiled, probably reminiscing too.

Tawni's heel stomped on the floor, making Chad jump. She stood beside me, lips pursed and eyes narrowed at Chad. She looked at me, her face slightly softening. "Okay, here are a few more clothes, go try them on," she ordered, giving me a few skirts and blouses, then turned to Chad. "You. Go Leave."

"What? Why?"

"_Because,_ it's bad luck for the guy to see the girl before their date!" Tawni explained, hands on her hips, glaring, and all that whatnot. I could see that she's still a little mad at him because of the whole cousin thing.

Chad looked at me with a 'really?' look on his face. I shrugged, scratching the back of my head.

He sighed, then left, hands in his pockets. One thing I really liked about the Cooper guys was that they remind me so much of Jesse McCartney. I was pretty obsessed with him for years and years on end, so having a best friend that's so much like him was pretty exciting for me. It wasn't much of a mystery why Chad became my first crush; perfect hair, ocean eyes and all.

I snapped out of my daydream and raced for the changing booth before Tawni noticed that I was staring at the ceiling again. I dropped the clothes on the floor before quickly closing the white door.

The pile of Ivory white and brick red dresses glared at me from the floor, making me cringe. I whipped out my phone and texted Chad.

**TO: ****Chad**

**FROM: ****Sonny**

_Wher__ r __we __even__ going?_

_~Sonny_

A few seconds later, Demi's Unbroken blared from my phone, signaling a text.

**TO:**** Sonny**

**FROM: ****Chad**

_To __my __mom__'__s __boss__' __parties. __Formal __and __all __that __crap._

**TO:**** Chad**

**FROM: ****Sonny**

_White or red?_

**TO:****Sonny**

**FROM:****Chad**

_What?_

**TO:****Chad**

**FROM:****Sonny**

_The color of the dress, stupid._

**TO:****Sonny**

**FROM:****Chad**

_I dunno. Uh, white?_

**TO:****Chad**

**FROM:****Sonny**

_White? Blegh. Too angel-y. Too nice. Too Taylor Swift. _ _I'm sticking with red._

I pressed send quickly and placed my phone into my pocket. I looked over the pile and separated the clothes. The first was _Red_, the second was _White_, and third was _Absolutely__ Not_s.

I tried on all of the clothes from the first pile, before choosing a red Sherri Hill cocktail dress with a draped single shoulder and a slightly fitted skirt.

I looked at myself in the mirror and cringed. I look like, dare I say it, _a __lady._

Blegh.

_It__'__s__ for __Chad, __it__'__s __for __Chad, _I chanted to myself. _For__ Chad_.

I stepped out of the booth, leaving the pile of too-short, too-Tawni dresses for Melainiee to pick up.

I heard a gasp behind me, only to see Tawni drop her phone and gape at me. I smirked slightly before putting my hand on my hip. "Yeah, I clean up _good._"

Tawni smiled widely and ran up to hug me. Very, very tightly, I might add.

"Uh… Tawn… Can't…" I tried to breathe out, wondering how a girl who whined when no one helped her open the front door to her house, had such a strong grip. But then again, I wonder about a lot of things. Like, why did Tawni have a personal assistant that's from France, and why does she still keep him around even though she doesn't even know what _"wi_" means, or why was Mom in a Catwoman costume when she came down for breakfast this morning. But of course, finding out why wasn't really in my agenda.

"Can't what? Can't wait to thank me? Oh, don't worry, no need for any–"

"Can't breathe."

She quickly let go of me, rolling her eyes. "Wow, diva much?"

"Yeah, because telling _Daddy_ that he should buy you your own toilet because your ass is too special for other people's buttsweat to mix with yours."

Tawni's eyes narrowed, her perfectly glossed lips forming a frown. Sometimes I really wanna tell Tawni that her shade of lip gloss, cocoa moco cocoa or neuralgic pink or whatever it's called, sometimes gave me a headache. It was flashy, but of course, anything flashy was basically Tawni Hart's property already.

"You know, Sonny, you should be thanking me. Without me, you'll probably be in sweats right now, playing Maria Kart-"

"Mario Kart."

"Whatever. Now, get out of the dress so we can pay for it because seriously, that chick that was staring at Chad is giving you major stink eye right now…," Tawni said, pointing behind me.

I raised my eyebrow in confusion and turned around. And there she was, Melainiee, the saleslady who was a good 4-5 years older than me, staring me down with those cold blue eyes of hers. She twisted a loose jet-black curl with her perfectly manicured finger, the intense glare never leaving her too-defined eyes. With a pop of the gum she was blowing, she strutted over to me, her black leather boots click-clacking on the marble floor.

"Hey," she greeted, still eying me up and down.

"Uh, hi…"

Obviously she wasn't one for small talk. "Who was that guy? The hot one that was asleep?"

I looked at Tawni, wide eyes. She was as shocked as I was. I quickly snapped my head back to Melainiee, stuttering, "W-well, uh, he-he's…"

"He's her boyfriend!"

I glared at Tawni, who was the one who cut me off. I was about to correct her, but Melainiee's look of appreciation cut me off.

"Oh, well, good for him."

And with that, she spun on heel to join the other salesladies in watching Chad through the window display, leaving me gaping at her. Did she just say good for _him?_

"Come on, we have to go pay for the dress." Tawni dragged me to the changing booth and closed the door.

I wonder that it will be like at the social – which was basically the dull version of a party, only with champagne and ladies in skirts that actually covered their butt. I might stick out like a sore thumb there because my dress was pretty short and bright red. I expect the women there to be in black, white, or if to go as daring as they can be, gray.

What most people don't know is that Mom was actually in fashion once, when she was still young and legwarmers were still in, so I know a little bit about clothes. She showed some designs, occasionally scolding me because I forgot the difference between maize and yellow, and then urged me to at least try to dress like most people that shared my gender. But what Mom thinks is cute, is what I think is trampy. Imagine a woman's suit; then subtract the jacket; cut off, say, ten inches of the pants; rip the sleeves off; unbutton nine buttons of the blouse and; tie the end of the shirt into a knot.

I have a picture of that outfit when I was nine for Cousin Debbie's Halloween party.

* * *

><p>We came home early since Tawni realized that she already bought a pair of shoes that went with my outfit that was "the perfect shade of off-black!" And then she didn't talk to me for ten whole minutes because I didn't know the difference of off-black and regular black, but couldn't' help herself because she needed someone to brag to because apparently, she overheard Nico call her cute.<p>

The whole ride home was silent, since Chad kept staring at the pink shopping bag in my hand, upset because he didn't see the dress early. Tawni would just say, "Don't worry, Cooper. Your date'll look sexy enough for you."

"But we're going to a social! People aren't _supposed_ to look sexy!" Chad objected.

"Well, people we weren't supposed to find out about your old last name, now were we?"

"Goldfarb is an _extremely _respectable last name!"

"Says the boy who said that tofu was delicious," I muttered.

"I said it was deliciously healthy."

"Well, you didn't mention that it was _deliciously _disgusting!"

Chad rolled his eyes and continued to stare at the bag, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. It was kinda cute, in a kid-who-wants-ice-cream kind of way, but after forty-five minutes of the same face staring at me through the rear-view mirror, it was getting annoying. I was just about ready to snap, but Tawni seemed to sense it, so she took the bag out of my grasp and hid it under her seat.

"Knock it out, Chad. You look like a 12-year-old who didn't get tickets to a Zac Efron concert." Tawni chuckled, bemused.

"Don't you mention his name in my presence!"

Tawni raised an eyebrow at me, as if asking what the Zac thing was about. "Chad thinks Zac is better-looking than him, so he decided two years go that Zac Efron is evil," I explained, rolling my eyes.

Instead of rolling her eyes, too, like I expected her to, Tawni burst out laughing, making Chad sulk from the backseat. I had to grab the steering wheel because Tawni's eyes were closed from laughing so hard.

* * *

><p>When we got to Tawni's house, she immediately kicked Chad out because we had to get ready. I could see that even though Tawni was who she is, she didn't go out that much; her huge, cozy mansion was her hangout. Gliding from stride to stride, her head held high, every step majestic, Tawni was in her element. Everywhere you turn there was a touch of either pink or gold, sparkly vintage furniture filled the Hart household, pink roses and peonies filling every vase. It was a pretty, I guess, but a little disturbing.<p>

Even more so when I leaned that Tom was the one who designed the house.

We walked into her room, which was surprisingly light blue, and took the dress out of its bag.

"Alright, Munroe," Tawni said, picking up a brush and grinning evilly. "Time for another makeover."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the late update! It's just that school has been really mean to me. I managed to fit in 12 pages in 3 days of "homework." So, yeah, there's a little iCarly there, and some parts from <em>Slave to Fashion <em>by Rebecca Campbell that are revised.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**So, yeah, that's about it for me. Bye-bye! :)**

**-Gabby**


	6. Almost There  part 1

"_All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers." - _Orison Swett Marden

* * *

><p><em><strong>Awkward <strong>_

* * *

><p>Two hours of grueling pain. Two hours of green goo on my face. Two hours of plucking, pulling, and torture.<p>

It was finally over.

"Can I open them now?" I asked Tawni. I had a blindfold covering my eyes. She wouldn't let me see myself, claiming that it was a surprise.

Please. Surprise, my ass. I bet she just made me look like a brunette Krusty the Clown.

"Not yet," she told me brightly, then shoved airplane headphones in my ears.

"What are these for?" I shouted through We Found Love by Rihanna. At least Tawni has good taste in music to make up for her lack of…well, a lot of things.

She didn't answer, instead I just felt her push me out the door and made sit on something really soft. I felt what I was sitting on move, but I didn't give it much thought because _Why_ _Don__'__t_ _You_ _Kiss_ _Her_ by Jesse McCartney came on.

After ten minutes, I was roughly grabbed by Tawni off of my seat and onto solid ground. I stumbled a little, bit but caught myself. Seven-inch heels?

The only things that can make your legs look hot and break them at the same time.

"Take them off!" she demanded excitedly, but ripped the blindfold from my eyes before I could.

After having my eyes closed for so long, the bright lights surprised me, making me squint. My vision was slightly blurry and the colors were dim.

But what was in front of me was the one that made me gasp.

Chad Dylan Cooper, the man who claimed that men who gave flowers to girls were gay, was standing in front of, a rose in his hand.

Of course, I had to do a double-take, because thinking about his previous statement and the flower he was holding made me wonder if he was trying to tell me something.

But, nevertheless, I had to give Chad props for his get-up. He was in a black tux, which probably belonged to Frank, and his hair was slightly shorter than before. Even though I hate it when boys cut their hair, Chad's new haircut was kinda fitting. Cute, too.

"Sonny?"

I snapped from my daydream, and realized that Chad was waving a hand in front of my face. I also realized that I was gaping at him.

I blushed a deep red, internally slapping myself. "Oh, uh, sorry, Chad. I was just thinking about…uh…"

"Nick Jonas!"

I looked at Tawni, who was the one who cut me off, with a 'WTF' face. She shrugged, looking down. I quickly turned to Chad, a fake smile I polished over the years on my face, and lamely said, "Yup."

He raised his eyebrows, probably confused. "But, Sonny, you said you didn't like boy bands…"

"Yeah, but she thinks he's cute!" Tawni answered for me again, running up beside me and nodding enthusiastically. I gave her a glare, but it didn't seem to affect her at all. She just kept nodding and grinning at Chad, most likely thinking of Nick.

Instead of snapping at her, I smiled widely, then said to her forcefully, "Tawn, don't you have a date with Nico _tonight_?"

"No, it's gonna be on Thur-"

"Better go get ready then!" I shoved her to her car, making her glare and grunt at me.

Once she drove off, I turned to Chad, snaking my arm around his. "Shall we go now?"

* * *

><p>Okay, so sorry everyone for the late updates! It's just that school's been so mean to me! :( But I promise that I'll write the 2nd part this week. I apologize for this chappy being short, too.<p>

Until then, if you guys want to read my diary, here's my blog link: the diary of a social pirana . blogspot . com (Take out all the spaces.)

Warning: There are some...creative language there. I usually write when I'm mad.

REVIEW OR ELSE I WILL MAKE CHAD GAY, FALL IN LOVE WITH FRANK AND MAKE SONNY FALL IN LOVE WITH JAMES!

I'm serious.

-Gabby


	7. Final Goodbye

It kills me to say this, but… I'm leaving FanFiction. Again.

But this time, it's permanent.

I'm so sorry to everyone I had the pleasure of befriending, but I'm just too busy to write SWAC fanfics.

I want to be a serious writer, so I think I should write for FictionPress or try writing a book. I'm never coming back to SWAC FanFiction. At least not as xXxStompingOnRosesxXx.

I don't think I'll delete any of my stories, but I don't really know if they'll ever get finished.

Every good thing has to end, right? I'm so sorry, but starting next week, I'm not sure if any one of you will ever hear of xXxStompingOnRosesxXx, except maybe for a few friends.

I'm really sorry.

This has been on my mind for a few weeks now. That's why I've been dodging PMs and not updating on any of my stories.

I've given up on Channy, to be honest. Sonny With A Chance episodes were kind of a drive, something that kept me interested. But now that it's ended, I'm not sure what to write anymore.

I'm sorry, but I have to leave. You can PM me if you want to continue any of my stories, or if you want to say goodbye. It was a fun while it lasted, but it's time for me to go.

I'll leave the ending of Awkward a mystery, or at least until someone adopts it. If you could, please PM me or review about continuing my story. It's very important to me.

So, yeah, that's about it. See you in another life.

-Gabby


	8. Good News!

GOOD NEWS!

_Awkward_ will continue!

Yes, this story will be finished by none other than alexsonny14, so go and thank her for me. :)

I don't know when it will be up, but I, for one, expect an awesome ending. :)


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